“I want a divorce, I can’t handle feeling like a single mother all the time even tho I’m married.” my wife screamed into her cell phone at me. Growing up as a third generation trucker I knew how she felt, I was reminded all to often by my mother who would cry herself to sleep sometimes. So I took a short haul gig and we worked on our relationship.

Like all good things that position came to a end, I had to hit the road to make money for my family. Again our relationship fell apart, I looked for therapy but no one would take us as clients due to my work schedule. Now in a situation where my choices are quit my job, lose my home, not provide for my kids and both my parents who were hospitalized or hit the road and take a chance of losing my wife. I decided to keep trucking for my family.

I love trucking but I can’t lie to you, the “trucking life style” is not always great. I lost my wife, almost lost my mother to cancer and watched my dad suffer from diabetes, shamed that he couldn’t provide for his family. At a time when most people would spend more time with their family, I had to run my tail off to take care of mine. It is not easy knowing that no matter what decision you make your hurting someone. That those 3 weeks your on the road earning money to feed and shelter your family may be their last days.

I remember calling my dad from my mothers hospital bed and saying “I’m hate trucking I want to —-” he said “the trucking way of life is a huge sacrifice, you give up your personal life so others can have theirs.” That is a great way to explain over the road trucking.

I know that I’m not alone here, many drivers are suffering from situations like this or maybe even worse. I didn’t want to unload my feelings on my ill family or make the situations worse. I felt trapped, with no one to talk to, I kept myself busy as not to deal with my problems. Then when I looked for professional help my schedule was not “regular” so they couldn’t talk to me.

I turned to my creative outlet by making a private video for my ex wife (kinda cheesy). I later uploaded it to youtube and was comforted with all kinds of wonderful advice.

This was years ago, today we all have someone to talk too.

Buck Black is an LCSW therapist who specializes in helping truckers and their families with anger and stress management, as well as depression and relationship problems. He does this over the phone, and Skype (webcam) at http://www.TruckerTherapy.com so truckers can make a living while, instead of taking time off work for office visits. Buck’s services are not just limited to the trucking community. He frequently sees couples and families in his office who are looking to improve themselves in various ways.

I have asked Buck if he could share a couple of tips that could help many men and women out here on the road, he gladly accepted.

Tips for improving your mood while on the road

Mile after mile can get very boring…and depressing! If you think about it, truckers have the ideal conditions for depression—isolation from much of the world, usually lack of exercise, difficulty getting healthy food, and little contact with family. All of these factors will wear on anyone unless there is a focus on keeping yourself positive.

1. Keep focused on the positive.

• All of that time to dwell on the negatives can really catch up with you. Turn off those news and political shows on your satellite radio. There is enough negativity out there and purposely tuning into it will only make it worse. Focus on positive music, or better yet, comedies and anything else that might make you laugh!
• Remember, if you are focused on something positive, it is much harder to think about the problems related to the job or how much you miss your family.

2. Eating better foods.

• I don’t mean to preach about food. I know it seems as though almost everyone criticizes truckers and their diet. This is just a reminder the more fast food and sugary foods you eat, the worse you will feel. There truly is a connection. Steer away from those hamburgers and fries and try more chicken, salads, and healthy subs. See what happens. I bet you will notice yourself feeling better. Choosing healthy food can still be quick and easy.

3. Exercise.

• The more you move, the better you feel. It’s just how the body works. You don’t necessarily have to work out at a gym in order to get some exercise. When you park, walk a few laps around your truck or park as far away from the building you are going to. Remember, you can always pump a little iron while you are in the truck. I know some drivers have a dumbbell they use to do a few reps while in their truck. Again, you don’t have to do a full exercise program. Just move a little more and it will lift your spirits.

4. Keeping in touch with friends and family

• Communication with the outside world is very important. Remember…because you are a trucker, you are automatically involved in long distance relationships. You have a long distance relationship with your spouse, friends, family, and so on. When discussing serious subjects, especially with your partner, use phone (or webcam, if possible) in order to help with accurate communication. Your tone of voice can often make a world’s difference in regards to working problems out or causing new ones! Don’t rely on texts and email too much. The written word can sometimes get you into trouble.

5. Find something you enjoy.

• Everyone needs something to look forward to. It is very easy to get in the dull routine of driving mile after mile for no particular reason. You just see those little green mile markers creeping past. I want you to think about how each mile marker represents another step closer to your goal. What goal? Well…it’s whatever goal you choose! Maybe each of those green posts represent the sooner you get home or the sooner you make enough money to get that new laptop you’ve always wanted.

• It’s also important to find something fun to do while you are on the road. What hobbies can you do? Maybe something related to blogging, photography, surfing the web, or whatever floats your boat.

I hope these tips will help life’s ride be a little smoother. Don’t be afraid to try some new things and throw out those that don’t work. Remember, you are in control of your life and your happiness. No one else can make you happy, mad, or anything else for that matter.

I thought I was one tough trucker.

The American Trucker is often seen as the last American mountain man, a nomad of sorts traveling across America through some of the worst of conditions to deliver his freight. A way of life for most, a job for others but one thing is for certain.  We’re a tough as nails subculture who can  do more then tell you about what it takes to keep a nation running we can show you the bruises.

As I like to say “trucking is not for pussies“. I have seen men travel under some really bad conditions and when I say conditions I’m not talking about the weather in this case. Most people have the luxury to call out if they feel a cold coming on. Have you had the flu or a cold lately? did you call out of work?  When normal civilians can call their doctor and schedule a appointment to take care of their health that is often not a option for a trucker who could be thousands of miles away from his doctor, if he even has one.

I once had a medical emergency that was life threatening, So I drove myself to the ER in Pasadena CA they told me “you can’t park that big truck here!” I said “watch me #$@#$ I’m about to die!!”. Finding a legal place to park to seek medical attention is another huge problem in the trucking industry.

I have dealt with all kinds of medical conditions on the road before I could get home or to a qualified doctor to take care of myself such as: broken bones, abscessed teeth. pinched nerves etc.. No one should have to compromise their health, their safety and the life of everyone around them because no one is there to help in their time of need or they’re to stubborn to seek out help. When I first started driving I hated the idea of taking time of to take care of my health after many health problems and nearly loosing my life on several occasions I realized taking care of your health should be every drivers number one priority.

I digress, I want to share a story with you about one trucker who’s medical situation makes my “dealt with medical problems list”  look like a whiny excuse to write a article. Trucker Jason Ripley was cruising through Darlington, Co Durham when he hit a crash barrier. What is so strange about that, you say “it happens everyday” you say “stop wasting my fu#king time” you say.  Alright mother #$@$# I’ll get to it. What makes this different is not only that he was impaled by a 8ft pole but that he was conscious enough to call his boss and say “I’ve had a bit of an accident - I’m in a spot of bother sir.“  That is truly a tough trucker. Jason recovered and was back to work shortly after the accident.

When was the last time you got your head cracked open for doing your job?

Clayton Agostini started off September 15, 2009 like it was any other day however this day would end with a beating and eating bad food at the hospital, which just totally disgust me! He just finished up a delivery in the Union Industrial Estate, which leads to the Trinidad Generation Unlimited (TGU) power plant being built to supply the Alutrint aluminum smelter stalled by a court order.

You see earlier last week some 350 workers downed tools to demand better terms and conditions of work. The company responded by locking out workers last Friday. Work on the $708 million power plant has been stalled since. I could see how this would piss off a group of workers who just wanted what was right for them

Clayton Agostini had just finished his delivery and was on his way out of the park when a angry group of protesters started to slam his truck with rocks, being blinded by glass he stepped out of his truck and was smashed in the head with a rock. Which sounds similar to the Reginald Denny beating during the Los Angeles riots back in the ninety’s. It is total fu#ked in both cases.

One of the protesters said “We were meeting in front of the gate and the truck wanted to go in, so we asked the driver to wait a bit but he just drove by, bouncing the man, and didn’t even stop.” No one could confirm if this even happened, no police reports where filed. Even if it did happen how about calling the fu@king cops and deal with the situation in a rational way. Yes you motherfuc^er$ are out of work, that sucks, I understand but damn. One thing is for sure, if this was my truck, in this situation the report would have been more like “trucker kills thirty protesters trying to save his life”

What would you do in this situation, would you take a as$whipping or roll a son of a b!tch over?

One young girl, one big heart, Ready to make a difference for the American Trucker.

Running With Jazzy

Jasmine Jordan grew up in a trucking family environment, her parents own a small trucking and pilot car company out of Minnesota. Jasmine realizes the importance for truck drivers to stay healthy she says ” I do understand the need for truckers and all involved in the trucking business to stay healthy, as that’s the way they make a living and make it possible for many others to make a living as well, America moves by truck!”.

Sheila Grothe a employee of the pilot car side of their family run business passed away on April 17th 2009 due to cancer. Jasmine who was training for the 2012 summer Olympics at the time decided that there are things in life more important then a shot at Olympic gold. She put her plans on hold to help raise awareness and funds by being the youngest at 16 years old to run across America to help support those truckers who are not insured or are under insured, so that they could get much needed treatments.

Jasmine sought out a way to help through a non profit organization started by Dave Nemo called The St. Christopher Fund which provides financial assistance to professional truck drivers who have medical problems and can not otherwise afford health care. I must say, I have listened to most all of the trucking industry commentators through out my career. Not to belittle anyone else but Dave Nemo is a genuine fella who really cares about truckers, he is not in this to get rich and it is more then just a job, he is truly one of the few that I enjoy listening too.

You can help support Jasmine by checking out run with jazzy and buying a running with jazzy t- shirt which will help fund the run across America. We all have a chance to help a young girl make history in the name of all truckers. Lets get behind this girl and show her we are RUNNING with her!

The St. Christophers Fund

If you would like to make a donation directly to the ST. Christopher Fund please do that as well. Look, I know we are all hurting, times are tough I know that but rest assured someone is far worse off then you are, every little bit counts. We know the Government is not going to give us a bail out we need to take care of our trucking brothers and sisters, together we can do this. I would really appreciate it if you could share this article with your network of friends the more eyes that see this the stronger we as truckers become.

My goal with these video blogs is to show a real life look into what it is like trucking with Eskimo Sean and Trucker Steve. No professional equipment, just a cheap flip ultra HD camera and a little bit of creative editing. If you would rather me just make silly/sad videos let me know, I don’t want to waste my time with this if it is lame to you.

Production notes: The workflow I’m using for these vlogs is lame, I’m editing the raw h.264 files on a dell studio laptop. I should neoscene the files so I could actually edit in real time as well as slight better color representation , not that it would help this cheap camera much. These videos are quick to cut together so I am not trying to spend to much time on them.

Camera: Flip Ultra HD
Edited: Sony Vegas pro 9.0
Colored: Sony Vegas pro 9.0

Shot hand held, no mounts, no score

Rendered at: Audio: 192 Kbps, 44,000 Hz, 16 Bit, Stereo, WMA
Video: 30 fps, 1280×720 Progressive, WMV, 8 Mbps
Pixel Aspect Ratio: 1.000

It is a sad fucking day yall,

Details are emerging through legal documents filed Tuesday on a complex pre-merger agreement between Flying J Inc. and Pilot Travel Centers in which Pilot would buy Flying J’s 250 travel centers, corporate headquarters and many other assets and Flying J would be become a minor shareholder in Pilot.

Flying J Inc., which has been in Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection since December 22, announced the agreement with Pilot Travel Centers Tuesday, with officials of both companies saying the move will lift Flying J out of bankruptcy and help both companies operate more effectively.

Particulars of the arrangement were revealed as Fying J filed a motion Tuesday in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Delaware, where it is incorporated, seeking court approval of its deal with Pilot. Included in the filing was a letter of intent regarding assets Flying J is offering Pilot. Some portions of the letter were filed under seal.

Flying J entered bankruptcy after a sharp drop in oil prices and disruption of credit markets left it with a severe short-term liquidity problem. The company faces an Aug. 4 deadline to post collateral that replaces $22 million in surety bonds terminating on that date that guarantee Flying J’s operation. As of July 10, Flying J had $28.5 million cash on hand.

“The Debtors now face the termination of a majority of their bonds in a matter of weeks,” Flying J said in the motion filed Tuesday.

This threatened the company’s ability to continue its restructuring and, according to the filing, was a key impetus for the agreement with Pilot Travel Centers.

As outlined in the filings, Pilot Travel Centers would pay between $300 and $500 million plus an equity stake in Pilot to buy certain Flying J assets during a period in which Pilot would have exclusive rights to do so. These assets would include all 270 Flying J travel centers, its trucking operations, corporate headquarters in Ogden, Utah, including the building and operations, some properties adjacent to travel centers and other business operations.

Flying J’s corporate headquarters would move from Odgen to Knoxville, where Pilot is headquartered. According to the filing, Flying J Inc. business operations are valued at $1.189 billion and the value of Pilot Travel Centers is listed at $3.291 billion.

Flying J has other operations that would be excluded from the purchase, including its refining operations, oil and gas operations; credit card, banking and insurance businesses; pipeline operations; aircraft and aircraft-related assets and real estate.

Also as part of the agreement, Pilot Travel Centers will provide Flying J with $100 million in “post petition” financing to help cover its operating expenses until the two companies can merge. This would be provided as a $55 million revolving line of credit and $45 million in performance, surety or similar bonds.

Once the merger transaction is concluded, Flying J would be allowed to enter into stockholder agreements with Pilot, and would have minority shareholder and other rights. It also would have one year to purchase up to $200 million in additional equity in Pilot Travel Centers.

Flying J is asking Bankruptcy Court to let it submit information in its letter of intent under seal, citing it proprietary importance. Included in the information sought to be sealed is the resolution of a 2006 lawsuit between Flying J and Pilot Travel Centers.

Flying J filed the lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Salt Lake City against Pilot Travel Centers and TravelCenters of America, accusing them of boycotting Flying J Fuel cards under pressure from Condata Corp., which the lawsuit alleged controls 70 percent of the trucker fuel card market. In its response to the lawsuit, Pilot Travel Centers denied it was part of any such group boycott.

“As part of the sale transaction contemplated by the Letter of Intent, Flying J and Pilot have entered into an agreement with respect to the District Court Action,” Flying J said in its Tuesday bankruptcy filing. It asked the court to keep details of that agreement confidential.

Flying J is a major distributor of diesel fuel and operates 270 travel centers in 41 states and six Canadian provinces.

Pilot Travel Centers operates more than 300 travel centers in 41 states, plus a Canada travel center, and employs 13,000 around the country, with each travel center averaging $15 million in revenue per year. Headquartered in Knoxville, Pilot Travel Centers is a partnership between Pilot Corp., which is wholly owned by the Haslam family, and by Propeller Corp., which is owned by funds advised by CVC Capital Partners, a leading global private equity firm.

Pilot Corp. and the Haslam family, which includes founder Jim Haslam and his sons, Pilot Travel Centers CEO Jimmy Haslam and Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam, have owned 52.5 percent of Pilot Travel Centers since buying out Marathon Oil Co.’s 50 percent interest last year for $700 million.

Propellar Corp., a wholly owned subsidiary of CVC Captial Partners funds, owns the minority stake in Pilot.

Pilot Travel Centers’ annual revenues totaled $16 billion in 2008.

Flying J has 15,000 employees nationwide and had sales exceeding $18 billion in 2008, placing it among the top 20 on Forbe’s magazine’s list of the 500 Largest Private Companies In America.

The only thing good I can see coming out of this situation is now flying j’s coffee won’t taste like what their parking lot smells like! I certainly fucking hope Pilot don’t fuck up and take out all the restuarants. If you think there are a lot of fat ass truckers out there now wait till there is nothing but Mc’D’s and Arby’s at every truck stop.

It will be pilots version of a eutopia of large motherfuckers with out a salad to be found across the land. Looks like this big boy might need to start cooking in his own truck. Ah fuck it, time to get back up to the buffet here at the Petro before this fat bitch infront of me with 3 butt cheeks takes the last of the ham.  Good day all!